Book Hangxiety
How you feel when the writing party is nearly over
I am nearly there. Just one more day at my desk and I’ll have written the final chapter. Then I have 2 more working weeks to tidy it all up and write an intro (which I already have half-formed in my brain - and it won’t be as hard as writing a chapter, I’m hoping, because all of the research and thinking part, which is the thing that takes me the longest, is already done in each of the chapters I’ve already got in the tank).
This ought to feel like a good moment, and, in a way it does, but it’s also a very funny time in a writer’s journey. I know I’m not alone in this, but when you get to the end of a book, as well as the elation of ‘thank f*** that’s finally over!’, you also feel an unexpected wave of anxiety. The only thing I can liken it to is the morning after a party, when, through hazy memories of the night before, you think, “What did I say to that guy?”, “WHY did I have that third cocktail?” and, “Did I really dance the MACARENA?”
So you lie in bed nursing your hangover and trying to decide if you came across as a competent and frankly, witty, adult, or if maybe everyone is talking today about what a goofball you are. You just can’t be sure.
Book Hangxiety is real, and then of course there’s the editing process. I am working with a new editor on this book (who by the way is the Shizzle and an absolute IDOL) but I have no idea what she has in store for me in the form of editorial torture over the next few months. I had probably the most nightmarish editing experience from hell possible with My Period, it was protracted and painful and all set against the backdrop of home schooling three kids in a global pandemic. I’m sure that the editing process for this current book won’t be anything like that, but still, I am still working through the trauma of the last one and all I can say is, there is never any room for complacency at this stage, the worst may very much be still to come!
Still, “optimism is a faith that leads to success”, as Bruce Lee said.
I think I prefer ‘steer into the skid’, which is my personal mantra.
People often ask me about the editing process of books and I describe it as a ‘series of sieves’. Basically the first editor sieves it and then hands it on to another one who stands ready with her sieve. There might even be a third involved who sieves it again. Then there might be a medical expert or other kind of expert (or a sensitivity reader, let’s not go there on that topic today!) who sieves it in a more specific way, looking for any clangers. All of this is a to and fro process in which your lovingly handed in ‘homework’ gets marked and handed back to you for correction, and then you hand it in again and it gets marked and handed back again. All of the editors are breathtakingly skilled at having that ‘helicopter vision’ of your 80 or 90k word manuscript, and also at practical stuff like adding your references in the correct way etc. Then it often gets a ‘legal read’ where you get told - at least in my personal experience - that you’re not allowed to say that Adam Kay is a blatant misogynist. Finally, it will go to a professional proof reader and possibly an indexer. And then it will come back to you as ‘final proofs’ which you have to read and approve in spite of being sick of the sight of it by this point!
So that is all to come. In the meantime, thank you for bearing with my inability to write anything meaningful or meaty on this substack at the moment, because I’m using all my energy in very long writing days, and just don’t have anything left in the tank. I’m longing to share with you some of the content and subject matter of the book. It has been a real learning journey for me and completely blown my mind at times. I absolutely cannot wait to start telling you all about it!
In the meantime, after such a rollercoaster few months with the Positive Birth Book I was really pleased to discover (accidentally via google!) that the book was named by the Evening Standard as one of their Best Pregnancy Books of 2022, by Expert Reviews as the Best Pregnancy Book for Empowering your Choices 2023, by The Bump as their Most Empowering Birth Book 2023, and of course I already knew that it was Best Overall Pregnancy Book 2023 for Mumsnet. Added to this, Give Birth like a Feminist was named by Daily Mumtra as one of their 8 best pregnancy books for 2023. Here’s their review. And yes I am blowing my own trumpet but it’s helping ease my Book Hangxiety! See you next week! xx
If there is just one book you choose to read during your pregnancy let it be Milli Hill’s outstanding ‘Give Birth Like a Feminist’. Yes the title feels like click bait, but the book is transformative…I finished this book and immediately started to reread with a highlighter in hand.
Both compelling and convincing Hill makes the case for why Childbirth is a feminist issue. Her writing is sensitive and non judgemental – this is not a book that champions one type of birth over another and seeks to further polarise women. Moreover Hill celebrates births of all kind on the premise that women are informed, fully consensual and respected. She examines how as a society we have come to normalise birth as fearful and traumatic denying women the right to what should be a triumphant and empowering rite of passage. Hill delves into the commonplace medical interventions that are skewing our perception of what birth looks like and undermining women’s confidence in their own abilities to give birth unaided.
Shocking, depressing and galvanising all at once this book feels like armour. Read, reread, learn to take control of your birth experience, have confidence in your own choices and ultimately be the boss in the birth room.
