Not my first rodeo

Some honest thoughts on riding the bronco of publishing

I’ve been uncharacteristically quiet, and for that, I apologise, particularly if you are paying to subscribe to something which started with the robust promise of a fruity Rioja but seems to have become as unreliable and thin as a bottom shelf Cab Sauv from Aldi (hasn’t wine got blimmin’ expensive lately? the bottom shelf ones in Aldi are not the bargain they seem though - I tried them so you don’t have to). The truth is, I’m struggling a bit (and not just with the price of wine) so I thought rather than wait til everything feels less ‘struggly’ (which let’s face it might never happen), I’d do the right thing and write it all down for your vicarious enjoyment.

This is, at least in part, a substack about writing, and writing is bloody hard. As far as the work in progress goes, I still have to call it ‘book 4’ for now but it does actually have a title. This was put forward by the publisher which is a first for me, but after I gave it some thought, I decided a) I like it, and b) they probably know more about packaging and selling books than I do, so I went with it. Someone, somewhere, is probably as we speak putting some preliminary cover designs together, which feels both exciting and daunting. I’ve finished writing 4 chapters now, and have 3 to go plus the intro and conclusion by the end of June, and then presumably a shed-load of editing in the late summer. If you’re even slightly curious about this next book, then make sure you are subscribed so you don’t miss an update.

Finding the motivation to write can be tricky at the best of times, but when you begin to lose faith, not in the process of writing but in the publishing industry itself, it becomes harder and harder to get in the saddle each day. I can’t go into all the details of what’s been going on for me, but as I write this I am waiting for an Amazon delivery of my first and bestselling book, The Positive Birth Book. In the past two weeks it has gone ‘out of print’, and the Amazon copies are ‘print on demand’ (POD). For me this is devastating, because it forms a linchpin of my livelihood, and I have no idea how badly my income is going to be affected or how the situation is going to be resolved. I’ve ordered a copy just to see what the POD quality is like. The whole situation is a distressing and unresolved mess. And one of the many things it’s revealed to me is just how much you sign your life away with a publishing contract. You are - it seems to me - over a barrel, and in spite of the hours, months or even years you spent at the laptop, it’s not really your book any more.

I’ve been listening avidly to a new podcast called Publishing Rodeo. It’s presented by two authors, Scott Drakeford and Sunyi Dean, who seem keen to blow the lid off what is often such a secretive industry. There is a lot of honest talk about money. For example, the podcast is built on the fact that both presenters published a book in the same year, same genre, same publisher, but had very different experiences: they both got a three book deal but Drakeford’s was for $30k, and Dean’s was for $300k. Their aim, in part, is to unpick this and explain how and why the publishing industry works in this absolutely bizarre and arguably pretty unfair way.

As an author on her 4th book, currently in the midst of an acute situation with one of my publishers, it’s compelling listening. I’m thinking a lot about my wider situation too - to be brave like Drakeford and Dean and talk money, I just got my latest royalties, which cover the 6 month period July to December 2022. For Give Birth like a Feminist I got just over £500. For My Period I got just over £200. Both books have already ‘earned out’ their advances, so this was pure ‘profit’. It’s not sustainable, is it?

My other ‘career’, if you can call it that, is freelance journalism, but I’ve not been doing much of it in since I stared work on book 4 in September, simply because I find it hard to research, pitch, write, edit, liaise with editors, deal with twitter fall out from articles etc, alongside the focus needed to write this book. And freelancing can be yet another rodeo - about three weeks ago I wrote a piece for Femail that keeps getting put back (if it never gets published I’ll get what they call a ‘kill fee’ which will be about half what I’d get if it goes in the paper). And just before the Easter weekend, I was asked to write a 1200 word essay for Newsweek (YES NEWSWEEK!) and sent the full, detailed commission. YES PLEASE! I said! How much is the fee by the way? And they said:

Unfortunately we don't have a regular budget for the section, so I can't offer you a fee. I can include any social links/websites/books in the essay bio; however, I totally understand if you'd no longer like to go ahead with the essay. 

Newsweek. NEWSWEEK. I looked them up on wikipedia and it says they have up to 48 million unique monthly visitors and a revenue of $60 million. But they don’t have a budget to pay their writers? Of course, with the link in my bio they offered, I could sell a few books off the back of the article, but bloody hell I’d have to sell hundreds to even come close to covering what ought to be a standard fee for my time. Not to mention that every time a writer agrees to work for free, they cheapen the entire industry for everybody else.

Anyway. Against this backdrop I’ve just been trying to keep going with the book, but I’ve had a few days, if I’m honest, of feeling a bit desperate. Today I am brighter. The bank holiday weekend is ahead, we have some nice plans with the kids, and I’ve made a teeny bit of progress today, in my head at least, with the 5th chapter. My medium term plan is just to try and keep getting back on the horse / laptop each day and plod across the desolate and hostile landscape of writing until the book is done. At that point, I need to have a serious think about the future.

In the meantime, here is a link to the first episode of the eye-opening Publishing Rodeo. Here’s to more of us writers being a bit braver about giving our honest experiences of the publishing industry - even if it does put some people off writing for life! Until next time, Milli x

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