The Word is Woman #66

Documenting the erasure of women from language and life.

For the past four years, ever since I spoke out about language changes in maternity such as ‘birthing people’, I have been sent hundreds of examples of convolutions of language in which the word woman is erased and replaced in the name of so-called ‘inclusivity’. Uterus owners, menstruators, non-men, bleeders, birthers, and even bodies with vaginas…the list of names we have been called and continue to be called is a seemingly endless catalogue of offence.

At the same time, we are seeing male people taking the place of women on sporting podiums and in public roles, and also being applauded as the ‘first woman’ to achieve a certain award or accomplishment, or the ‘best female’ or ‘woman of the year’ in their field.

The Word is Woman is a place to keep track.

So here is this week’s The Word is Woman for the week ending 4th April 2025.

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Last Friday there was no edition of The Word is Woman - I took a bit of a step back for a few days following another spate of online horridness, and in doing so, I wondered if this part of my newsletter ought to go fortnightly. This might free up my time for other ideas and projects, and also prevent you from getting Erasure Fatigue, that feeling you get after being bombarded with terrible things, a little like Snow Blindness.

The upshot of missing a week, though, is that I’ve ended up with far more submissions than I could ever possibly fit in! (I try to keep it down to the length of a cup of coffee, for the sake of your time-poor life if not your sanity.) So I’m still mulling it over - weekly or fortnightly? - but as ever, I welcome your feedback.

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There’s a new CEO at Pregnant then Screwed.

When founder and women’s champion Joeli Brearly stepped down after a decade at the helm last October, she was interviewed on Woman’s Hour, and asked for her take on the language issue, for example the pressure to use terms like ‘pregnant people’. You can listen here from 26.20. She said:

“If any woman that runs a women’s organisation tells you that this isn’t a problem, they’re lying, it’s a real challenge within women’s organisations - whether you use sex based language or whether you use gender identity language. In other areas, when you’re talking about policy or decisions, there is room for disagreement, but there isn’t on this. Disagreement is framed as you being a bigot. And yet in every women’s organisation there is this disagreement. And then what tends to happen is women are too scared to talk about it, and leaders are too scared to talk about because they know the online abuse is going to be absolutely extreme, and they know that internally there are going to be huge challenges, you’re going to open a pandora’s box. So many tend to repress it and try and not talk about but that can cause a rot within a small organisation, so it is a really big challenge for women and girl’s organisations right now.”

Whilst she denied that this had played into her decision to step down, she did admit that it had impacted their work at PTS. “It is a big challenge and I have struggled with it”, she said.

With this back-story, it’s somewhat painful to see that the new CEO comes direct from Bloody Good Period, an organisation renowned for their woman erasure - they were behind the recent Aldi post, for example, about ‘people who menstruate’.

And in the instagram post announcing Grocott’s appointment, the W word is conspicuous by its absence.

Rachel says, “We need a system working for parents”.

The chair, Sam, says, “the fight for parents’ rights is getting even tougher”.

And in the post blurb, PTS say Rachel is going to take on the fight ‘for parents everywhere’.

18 years ago when I was working as a therapist for the NHS, I told my boss I was pregnant. “Oh, you won’t be coming back in September then!”, she laughed.

And then I went home, and I thought about it, and I realised that I’d just been told I was going to lose my job because I was pregnant.

So I went back and fought hard, and I got to keep my role. And the NHS had to work out ways to accommodate my pregnancy and make it work for everyone.

If I hadn’t spoken up, I’d have simply lost my job.

This all happened because I am a woman.

PTS didn’t exist then, but they’ve now done great work on this issue.

Please tell me they’re not going to forget that the motherhood penalty is an issue that primarily affects WOMEN, not PARENTS?

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Want to see something in poor taste? You’ve come to the right place!

This is a post from Shout Your Abortion for ‘trans day of visibility’, which also included this tile:

Of course, this is true - if you believe you have a different gender identity but are female, you may have an abortion, and I support you. But the reason we need to ‘shout’ about abortion is because of that femaleness, because of the reality of sex. Male people have denied women access to abortion, they have policed our bodies and restricted our autonomy - and they still do. Sex denialism has no place in reproductive justice.

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La Leche League International have seen fit to use transgender day of visibility to remind us that they support EVERYONE who wants to breastfeed. Or chestfeed.

And yes, by that they DO mean male people.

Nobody is allowed to question this of course - only comments from people who think men should be supported to lactate and put their lactating nipples into the mouths of voiceless babies, were allowed. How inclusive!

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A reader who works in the civil service has got in touch to share this screenshot of some training she received from Red Snapper Learning. Can you spot the missing characteristic?

Yes, Red Snapper Learning even found space for ‘attractiveness’ in their ‘intersectional lens’, but not SEX.

(that gif is presumably not meant to be a joke, right? but doesn’t it just sum up the whole intersectional, inclusive phenomenon?! as illustrated above by La Leche League!)

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In all the writing and campaigning I’ve done about childbirth, one message was key: the WOMAN is the ultimate decision maker. Yes, dads and partners are important, and they should feel involved, but they don’t get to decide what happens. That might sound harsh, but the problem is, if you erode a woman’s already shaky grip on bodily autonomy by suggesting that decision making is a group event, a sort of board meeting where everyone gets to have their say, then you absolutely know that this will potentially be taken advantage of, in a world that often wants to overrule and sideline female people.

The following posts - presumably unwittingly - capitulate with this idea that everyone has a say, by substituting the word ‘woman’ with ‘family’.

In their quest for inclusivity, they erode women’s autonomy.

I had about 15 examples of these, I chose four for you.

First up, North Georgia Family Doulas.

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Next, Coastal Midwifery Care in Florida.

Their advice on ‘things every parent should know’, is 100% about giving birth, and includes maxims like ‘you are in charge, not the provider, not the hospital, you’.

Clarity is lost though: which parent is in charge?

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Third example is the once legendary, Birthing from Within.

They suggest we use a labyrinth as a map for the process of labour. This, they say, “gives us a way to help parents understand the inner landmarks of the birthing experience so they can begin to think about what they need to help them cope.”

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Finally in our gallery of examples that replace WOMAN with PARENT or FAMILY - and in this case adding in a BIRTHING PERSON for good measure, is this post from Emily Mac Postnatal.

Dads - we love you, but we really don’t want you ‘advocating for our preferences’. We can do that ourselves, thanks.

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Sex Positive Families instagram is an absolute riot of sex denialism. In this post they suggest teaching young people to be confident about periods whilst using the term, ‘bodies with a uterus’.

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Do you have to have a birth pool for a home birth? South Cheshire Home Birth say:

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GiffGaff (who I use for my mobile phone account!) have recently sent out a customer survey where they start with ‘the basics’.

As Professor Alice Sullivan has recently pointed out in the Sullivan Review, it’s important that, where appropriate, we gather data on both sex AND gender identity. But here giffgaff confuse the two. Female is not a ‘gender identity’. And they offer no question on sex, either.

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Here’s an endometriosis fact sheet from Dr Lee Fertility with a new one I’ve not heard before.

THOSE PRESUMED FEMALE AT BIRTH.

I guess the presumption is only confirmed when you start suffering the agonising pain of endometriosis?

Or are denied access to an abortion?

Or lose your job when you’re pregnant?

Or when other people make decisions for you in labour?

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See you next time! Milli x

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