22 Comments

Phew! What a powerful speech, Milli. Hear hear! Enjoy Prague.

Expand full comment

thanks Wendy! xx

Expand full comment

This is fantastic 👏

Expand full comment

Thanks Hannah! x

Expand full comment

Wonderfully written - loved the whole thing from start to finish - and I’m sure your delivery of it tomorrow, in said 🔥 jacket, will be tremendous, Mils! Enjoy the day, enjoy Prague and can’t wait to read all about it next week. Onwards and upwards x

Expand full comment

Cheers Tim! xx

Expand full comment

Brilliant, Milli 🔥 Enjoy every second of it!

Expand full comment

I will. Except brief moments of missing my puppy LOL! xx

Expand full comment

I said sorry the other day for my hairy legs when I had acupuncture and even as I said it I said sorry to myself . Ridiculous.

Loved it and agree with all . In birth situation there are quite a few women who reject the idea and the possibility of being the one and want to be pandered to and petted like a child . Some are very grateful after the birth that the encouragement to do it was there , others are really cross and complain they felt whatever they felt … and did not recognise support to manage as support .

Hope Prague is a great experience. X

Expand full comment

Great stuff & excellent choice of quotes! Slay ‘em 😀😀

Expand full comment

Cheers Heather will do! x

Expand full comment

OMG, what a wonderful, empowering speech. Thank you so much for sharing - gee, you are a terrific writer. Looking forward to reading your new book soon! Best of luck In Prague!

Expand full comment

Oh thank you so much. Off out now to dinner in the city. Exciting!

Expand full comment

Bravo Milli! 👏👏👏👏

Expand full comment

Cheers Sharon xx

Expand full comment

Milli, you were ironic, weren’t you starting this piece with I’m sorry …?

Expand full comment

ha ha yes that was my ironic sub head! xx

Expand full comment

Spot on Milli. Wow, you are really firing on all cylinders these days! The power of the menopause? Xx

Expand full comment

Haha maybe. Definitely less fucks to give ;-) xx

Expand full comment

As ever - I love your posts and that was particularly resonant for me last week in my work. I’ve just realised that I was partially inspired by your posts when I wrote today.

https://open.substack.com/pub/sarahwheatley/p/why-giving-birth-like-trump-might?r=2kji38&utm_medium=ios

Expand full comment

Ha ha yes, good post, reminds me of that saying, 'Lord, give me the confidence of a mediocre middle aged white man'! xx

Expand full comment

A brilliant speech Milli. You covered so many important points, but I would like to add two more.

You are so right about women and birth. It saddens my heart when women "fail" at this and apologize for "doing it wrong", not realizing that it is the system that has failed them utterly. What follows (or doesn't follow) birth? Breastfeeding. Tried and failed; you didn't try hard enough. Chose not to because the last time your partner's gormless friend told you he "didn't realize your tits were so big"? Bad mother. Breastfed until your child self-weaned? Don't share your immense and well-deserved pride because some mother who didn't breastfeed will feel guilty. Not gushing over some bepenised man declaring himself a "mother", which means he gets to breastfeed? Say you are sorry or be bullied out of what you thought was a mother-to-mother breastfeeding support group.

And if you dare to become old enough to be unfuckable in the eyes of society, you'd better have that apology printed on cards that you can hand out when you take the place of some younger woman when you need some help with something. Because older women are largely invisible, we have to apologize for continuing to exist at all.

Oh, and one more place where women are always apologizing, in the consulting rooms of doctors. Because our signs and symptoms of ill health are often different than men's this is taken to mean that we are somehow "faulty" units, not physiologically different to men but wrong so we must apologize for this too.

Expand full comment