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Nicky Grace's avatar

I'm most shocked by the comment from the fellow writer you so generously helped, and who then proceeded to shun you. How can anyone be so oblivious to their selfishness? To refuse to support you yet claim that supporting others will somehow make up for this? Her penchant for doublethink fits perfectly with the intellectual gameplaying of gender ideology.

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Milli Hill's avatar

Yes that really did stagger me, especially the way she dressed it up in niceties, so much so she seemed to believe it herself 🤦‍♀️

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Anna Wharton's avatar

Someone wrote in my comments yesterday whether we have seen men cancelled for commenting on other men identifying as women. Apart from Graham Linehan, of course. Or is it just women that the pyres are built for?

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Milli Hill's avatar

It does seem that way. I thought about that yesterday when reading that article by Tomiwa I shared with you, I thought, I bet he doesn't get any bloody flack for this! Also, it's bound to happen that eventually the 'sensible men' will be portrayed as the clever chaps who saved the day. As if they were the ones who worked it all out and we women didn't really say anything. 😆

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Anna Wharton's avatar

No, I don’t think Tomiwa has ever mentioned getting abuse for saying what he does. In fact I am sure I asked him specifically. And yes, I’m sure your predication will be spot on!

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Milli Hill's avatar

GREAT!

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Milli Hill's avatar

Well true. It never seems as vicious though, or as impactful on their livelihoods. But you are right it does happen. xx

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HeatherW's avatar

Yes, it does happen, but it’s a bit random. Off the top of my head, I can think of three or four prominent on Twitter who have been cancelled (livelihood affected (actor James Dreyfus says he’s definitely lost a lot of work; opps to study removed) but I can think of many, many more who hardly get any pushback at all and whose work & life continues just fine.

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Tessa McInnes's avatar

Re Chimimanda's avoidance of referring directly to the transphobia slur, I think she also was making the point that (to queer-cheerleading Guardian) that cancel culture goes more widely than this most prominent issue; and like all great artists, she revolts at being simplistically labelled by anyone. She wants to maintain an artist's mystique, the right to be mercurial. She defies labels and unnuanced judgments of all kinds. I respect this.

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Milli Hill's avatar

Yes that's a very good point and I think that was where she went with the Reith lecture, and consequently it was more powerful as a result.

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Katrina Biggs's avatar

The fiery energy of menopause - love it!

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Milli Hill's avatar

True though right?! 🔥🔥🔥

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Katrina Biggs's avatar

Oh - I didn’t think of it in the context of hot flushes, so I may have misinterpreted it. I read it as a time we change so much, and become fired up with a different kind of energy. Both can be true, of course 🙂

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Barbyrabaker's avatar

I am sorry you have been so badly treated. I appreciate your writing about this.

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Milli Hill's avatar

Thanks very much. I am rather fed up with banging on about it, in some ways, but also I think it's important because it's not just about me, it's about so many women, and the whole situation. Surely one day all of these events will be studied in amazement for GCSE history?!

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Joan Haig's avatar

Gorgeous post. (This one and the one delivered by husky!)

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Milli Hill's avatar

Thanks! Yes how lovely is that husky mail?!

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Geraldine Murphy's avatar

Thank you Milli. I’m sad that you were treated so badly but while that will never leave you, your bravery and elegant writing on this matter as well as your professional health related writing is your great legacy that we won’t forget.

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Tim Bishop's avatar

I found this very moving and thought provoking Mils. I agree with Geraldine about your legacy, and your bravery, she is spot on. And to keep writing as you do, about these issues as well as some of the new topics you are tackling, is inspiring to me and clearly to so many others. So, don’t stop x

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Milli Hill's avatar

Cheers dear Tim, that's so lovely, no plans to stop ❤️

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Roz Adams's avatar

There's sad and welcome companionship in reading your articulation of this experience. Thank you. X

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Milli Hill's avatar

Thanks, here's to companionship xx

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HeatherW's avatar

I was a bit sad about Chimamanda, too, but I do understand it and I think she will be back in the fight when the time feels right for her.

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