Hi all. I’m curious to learn more about women’s relationship to their own menstrual blood. For example, do you look at it, hide it, feel disgusted by it, water your plants with it, make art with it, miss it (if you are post menopause or not menstruating for any other reason). Has your relationship changed over the years and if so why? How did your menarche (first period) or family messages affect your feelings? And any other thoughts…Let’s start a discussion thread here - feel free to interact with each other as well as me! And if you want to answer but would rather be anon, feel free to message me privately. Thanks! Milli x
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My relationship with my period did not start well.
It arrived very unexpectedly when I was 11 and I was playing with my Barbie dolls at my next door neighbour’s house. I went to the toilet and had the shock of my life.
When I told my mother, she went out to buy me “supplies”.
To this day, I can’t believe she did this, but she bought pads with a belt - like something from the bloody dark ages! This was the mid-80s FFS! It was all hidden under my duvet and I was taught from a very young age that periods were something private - and almost shameful.
Looking back, I realised that this single event significantly impacted on my relationship with my pubescent body, resulting in many years of self-loathing.
I’m a mother of a 12 year old menstruating girl now - and I’ve been a birth professional for over 10 years.
My kids have been around pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and all manner of bodily functions all their lives - and I’m proud to say - don’t seem to have any major hang ups about any of it.
When my daughter got her first period, I bought her a gorgeous gift box full of period undies and lovely pamper goodies. While she didn’t hush (she’s WAY too pragmatic a kid for such sentimental nonsense!) she took it all in her stride and has never had an issue about her period from Day 1.
I’m so relieved to have broken that inter generational cycle of body shame.
I always say that 3 things revolutionised my life - my baby sling - my ‘she wee’ - and my ‘moon up’. I only had my silicone menstrual cup for the last 15 years or so of my cycle but I was so impressed by it I used to buy them as presents for female family members and friends - truly life changing.
I’m a midwife and Pagan so my menstrual blood has always been sacred. When I was peri menopausal (and off my rocker) I used it in ritual to help heal. I particularly used ‘Aphrodites Magic: celebrate and heal your sexuality’ by Jane Meredith - I recall making a painting from my blood... I also saved my very last blood for personal ritual - giving it back to Mother Earth.
So many inspirational women I read in midlife too - Miranda Gray - Alexandra Pope (did a fab workshop with Alexandra) - Jane Hardwicke Collings. But my favourite book about cycles of life rather than periods - The Women’s Wheel of Life by Carol Leonard and Elizabeth Davis.
you are full of great book recommendations Lynn! I think I need to join the library, my life has got more expensive since I made your acquaintance!! xx
I've grown to love my period/menstrual blood over the years. I got my first period when I was 10, and my family treated it like it was something to hide, especially from guys. I was always so afraid of leaking and the secret being out! My mom supported me the best she could, but ultimately I never truly understood what was going on with my body. Around a year after my period started, it suddenly became much heavier. When this first happened, my mom was out of town and I didn't have any pads that could absorb more than regular flow. I thought there was something really wrong, but I was also too embarrassed to ask for help! It was a miserable few days.
My relationship with my period started to change in my late 20's, when I began looking for natural ways to improve PMS/cramps. I found Lara Briden's book, "Period Repair Manual," and when the recommendations worked, I started to feel more of a connection to my period. It no longer felt like something happening to me, but something I'm "working with". Then, I was determined to figure out a natural birth control. Enter Fertility Awareness Method/Tony Weschler's "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" book, and I became fascinated with my period and entire menstrual cycle. I also started using cotton reusable pads. I love hand washing the pads because of the tactility of the blood/touching what's going on inside of my body.
Now, I love my menstrual cycles/period blood and feel sad about the day that they will cease!
That's a fantastic story. Have you listened to the podcast yet. She talks in a similar way about making friends with her period. And yes, mine is starting to dwindle and I'm really going to miss it ☹️
I love my period now, I use a moon cup and water my plants with it. The aloe vera In my bathroom that gets it, the most fertile plant I own, she produces so many baby plants, my whole house is now full of aloe vera. But this was not always the case. I was on the pill from 16 just two years after my period started, I took it back to back to avoid having to put up with 'that time of the month'. At 29 I finally realised this was not healthy and at 34 I found Lisa Listers book Code Red, I then became interested in the blood mysteries and power of our menstural cycle. If i have a daughter I really look forward to passing on the knowledge I now have
I put the plant watering idea in my children's book - I think the editors were a bit shocked LOL!
I have not read Code Red although I follow Lister, does she write much about blood mysteries? I am looking for more info on this! And yes, great to pass on knowledge to your daughter and break the shame cycle. xxx
My relationship with my period did not start well.
It arrived very unexpectedly when I was 11 and I was playing with my Barbie dolls at my next door neighbour’s house. I went to the toilet and had the shock of my life.
When I told my mother, she went out to buy me “supplies”.
To this day, I can’t believe she did this, but she bought pads with a belt - like something from the bloody dark ages! This was the mid-80s FFS! It was all hidden under my duvet and I was taught from a very young age that periods were something private - and almost shameful.
Looking back, I realised that this single event significantly impacted on my relationship with my pubescent body, resulting in many years of self-loathing.
I’m a mother of a 12 year old menstruating girl now - and I’ve been a birth professional for over 10 years.
My kids have been around pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and all manner of bodily functions all their lives - and I’m proud to say - don’t seem to have any major hang ups about any of it.
When my daughter got her first period, I bought her a gorgeous gift box full of period undies and lovely pamper goodies. While she didn’t hush (she’s WAY too pragmatic a kid for such sentimental nonsense!) she took it all in her stride and has never had an issue about her period from Day 1.
I’m so relieved to have broken that inter generational cycle of body shame.
That is absolutely brilliant Tanya. Good for you for breaking the cycle 👏❤️
I always say that 3 things revolutionised my life - my baby sling - my ‘she wee’ - and my ‘moon up’. I only had my silicone menstrual cup for the last 15 years or so of my cycle but I was so impressed by it I used to buy them as presents for female family members and friends - truly life changing.
I’m a midwife and Pagan so my menstrual blood has always been sacred. When I was peri menopausal (and off my rocker) I used it in ritual to help heal. I particularly used ‘Aphrodites Magic: celebrate and heal your sexuality’ by Jane Meredith - I recall making a painting from my blood... I also saved my very last blood for personal ritual - giving it back to Mother Earth.
So many inspirational women I read in midlife too - Miranda Gray - Alexandra Pope (did a fab workshop with Alexandra) - Jane Hardwicke Collings. But my favourite book about cycles of life rather than periods - The Women’s Wheel of Life by Carol Leonard and Elizabeth Davis.
you are full of great book recommendations Lynn! I think I need to join the library, my life has got more expensive since I made your acquaintance!! xx
My excuse for acquisition of so many books (apart from being a bibliophile) is that I haven’t been to a hairdresser since 1991...:)
Sounds like a far more valid way to spend your cash to be honest!
My ayurvedic practitioner just recommended Alexandra pope to me!
Moon cup!
I've grown to love my period/menstrual blood over the years. I got my first period when I was 10, and my family treated it like it was something to hide, especially from guys. I was always so afraid of leaking and the secret being out! My mom supported me the best she could, but ultimately I never truly understood what was going on with my body. Around a year after my period started, it suddenly became much heavier. When this first happened, my mom was out of town and I didn't have any pads that could absorb more than regular flow. I thought there was something really wrong, but I was also too embarrassed to ask for help! It was a miserable few days.
My relationship with my period started to change in my late 20's, when I began looking for natural ways to improve PMS/cramps. I found Lara Briden's book, "Period Repair Manual," and when the recommendations worked, I started to feel more of a connection to my period. It no longer felt like something happening to me, but something I'm "working with". Then, I was determined to figure out a natural birth control. Enter Fertility Awareness Method/Tony Weschler's "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" book, and I became fascinated with my period and entire menstrual cycle. I also started using cotton reusable pads. I love hand washing the pads because of the tactility of the blood/touching what's going on inside of my body.
Now, I love my menstrual cycles/period blood and feel sad about the day that they will cease!
That's a fantastic story. Have you listened to the podcast yet. She talks in a similar way about making friends with her period. And yes, mine is starting to dwindle and I'm really going to miss it ☹️
I love my period now, I use a moon cup and water my plants with it. The aloe vera In my bathroom that gets it, the most fertile plant I own, she produces so many baby plants, my whole house is now full of aloe vera. But this was not always the case. I was on the pill from 16 just two years after my period started, I took it back to back to avoid having to put up with 'that time of the month'. At 29 I finally realised this was not healthy and at 34 I found Lisa Listers book Code Red, I then became interested in the blood mysteries and power of our menstural cycle. If i have a daughter I really look forward to passing on the knowledge I now have
I put the plant watering idea in my children's book - I think the editors were a bit shocked LOL!
I have not read Code Red although I follow Lister, does she write much about blood mysteries? I am looking for more info on this! And yes, great to pass on knowledge to your daughter and break the shame cycle. xxx