Documenting the latest defamation

Because enough is enough.

Over the past couple of years I have been attacked for my views on women’s rights repeatedly, and through it all, I decided never to name and shame individuals, or incite further purity spirals and internet pile ons. Perhaps I felt I wanted to ‘be kind’.

That changed recently. Back in April, somebody contacted me to say that they’d been messaged on instagram by an antenatal teacher in Australia, who had seen an instagram ‘story’ on my account in support of Riley Gaines, and wanted to know why they were ‘following a transphobe’. Instead of ignoring it, I dug around, worked out who they were, and complained to their professional body. Their professional body then disciplined them for their inappropriate online conduct.

That day I resolved: no more. Every single incident of this BS, I will expose. Because it is damaging to me, to my work, to my livelihood, to my mental health, and to my purpose. I am writing this now when I should be working on my fourth book. And I should not have to be.

I’m self employed so it is very difficult for me to know or prove how much damage is being done and has been done by these small, repeated incidents of bullying and defamation. How many people have liked my books but decided not to promote them, put them on their grid, invite me on their podcast, ask me to speak at their event - just because they don’t have the bandwidth for what might follow. Sometimes these people contact me privately with their support. It’s appreciated, but it doesn’t pay the bills. To them I say: grow a backbone - I can assure you it will make you feel much better about your entire existence.

I hope that exposing the following and most recent defamation will have the effect of discouraging others in the future. Please know that if you defame me, either in private messages or in public, on or off social media, I will expose this, and I will report you to your professional body where appropriate.

My second book, Give Birth like a Feminist, has been translated into German. The German translation is the 2023 edition, which includes an extra chapter in which I am very clear about my views on sex-based language. A couple of days ago a German book blogger wrote a great review of the book on her grid. However, she was then contacted by someone who told her she should not be promoting my book because I ‘hurt trans people’.

She then contacted me (a transcript of our instagram conversation is below) last night and we discussed the issues. Today, she has contacted my German publisher, to ‘tell on me’, basically. She explained to them that, in spite of our long discussion, I am, “in no way willing to open (my) heart and accept other people for who they feel. That's not my kind of feminism, because I'm missing one thing above all: interpersonal love.” Fortunately, my German publisher has one of those aforementioned backbones.

Rather than take down her review, she has now added a defamatory ‘warning’ statement to her instagram post.

This is the translation of the defamatory statement and the review. (via Google translate)

Before reading and writing this review, I was unaware that the author had repeatedly made anti-trans statements! I distance myself DEFINITELY from that! #transrightsarehumanrights

Even though my last birth was almost 9 years ago, the topic of childbirth is sooo close to my heart - and feminism anyway!
That's why I gave birth like a feminist by @milli.hill, published by @magasverlag, also DEVOURED!
Because the four days that I gave birth to my four children will forever be the most life changing and empowering days of my life. And because I'm still sooo grateful that by complete chance (let's call it serendipity 😉) I came across the right midwife and encouraging people in my environment: although I was the very first pregnant woman in my personal environment and really had NO idea about self-determined birth had.
The fact that I gave birth to all of my four children completely self-determined "like a feminist" was thanks to these people and above all to Gaby Renkl from the Rainbow Birthplace in Neustadt an der Aisch: but not all women are so incredibly lucky.
Most of the birth stories I've heard in my life aren't empowering, they're demeaning - and we can't accept that.
As mature women, we must not submit to a system "that's the way it is".
WE are the designers of our lives and the birth of a child is such a key moment that can empower us to come into our own strength.
Milli Hill's fantastic book leads women into this power - without dogma and without claiming to achieve a certain type of birth.
Because any way of giving birth is good, as long as the woman giving birth has the good feeling of being able to make self-determined and powerful decisions: and that's exactly what I wish all pregnant women from the bottom of my heart 💚
Tell me, if you want: how did you feel about the birth of your children (if you have any!)?

Here is a link to the actual post on instagram.

☀️Uta Luise Vogt ☀️

☀️Uta Luise Vogt ☀️ on Instagram: ”⚠️ Vor dem Lesen und dem Schreiben dieser Rezension wußte ich nicht, daß die Autorin wiederholt transfeindliche Aussagen getätigt hat! Davon distanziere ich mich ENTSCHIEDEN! #transrightsarehumanrights🌈 {Rezensionsexemplar} Auch wenn meine letzte Geburt schon bald 9 Jahre her ist, liegt mir das Thema Gebären sooo sehr am Herzen - und Feminismus ja sowieso!
Deshalb habe ich „Gebären wie eine Feministin“ von @milli.hill, erschienen im @magasverlag auch VERSCHLUNGEN!
Weil die vier Tage, an denen ich meine vier Kinder zur Welt gebracht habe, für immer die lebensveränderndsten und empowerndsten Tage meines Lebens sein werden. Und weil ich noch immer sooo dankbar bin, durch kompletten Zufall (nennen wir es lieber Serendipity 😉) an die richtige Hebamme und bestärkende Menschen in meinem Umfeld geraten bin: obwohl ich die allererste Schwangere in meinem persönlichen Umfeld war und wirklich KEINE Ahnung von selbstbestimmter Geburt hatte.
Daß ich also alle meine vier Kinder völlig selbstbestimmt „wie eine Feministin“ geboren habe, war diesen Menschen und vor allem Gaby Renkl vom Geburtshaus Regenbogen in Neustadt an der Aisch zu verdanken: aber dieses unfassbare Glück haben nicht alle Frauen.
Die meisten Geburtsberichte, die ich in meinem Leben gehört habe, sind nicht bestärkend, sondern erniedrigend - und das dürfen wir nicht hinnehmen.
Wir dürfen uns als mündige Frauen nicht einem System unterwerfen, „das eben so ist“. WIR sind die Gestalterinnen unseres Lebens und die Geburt eines Kindes ist so ein Schlüsselmoment, der uns ermächtigen kann, in unsere eigene Kraft zu kommen.
Das phantastische Buch von Milli Hill führt Frauen in diese Kraft - ohne Dogma und ohne den Anspruch, eine bestimmte Art der Geburt zu erreichen.
Denn jede Art zu gebären ist gut, solange die Gebärende das gute Gefühl hat, selbstbestimmt und kraftvoll entscheiden zu dürfen: und genau das wünsche ich allen Schwangeren von Herzen 💚
Erzählt doch mal, wenn Ihr wollt: wie habt Ihr die Geburten Eurer Kinder (wenn Ihr welche habt!) empfunden? #utas_glueck_liest #rezensionsexemplar #unbezahltewerbung #gebärenwieeinefeministin #geburtsvorbereitung #schwangerschaft #geburt #selbstbestimmtegeburt”

May 23, 2023

I thought it might also be of interest to share our conversation from last night, which led to her putting on the defamatory ‘alert’.

Note how any time I offer her something that really challenges her stance she falls back on the ‘be kind’ idea, and clearly doesn’t want to consider it. This is very typical of such conversations. Towards the end you will also note I began to run out of patience!

Uta: Dear Milli!
As you noticed, I just showed your birth book on my instagram because I love it and think it‘s important.
Now a mother of a trans child just wrote me that I can‘t promote a book of yours because you are hurting trans people.
Can you tell me what this is all about?
I‘m all for trans rights so this is important to me, too!
Love, Uta

Milli: Hi Uta. Wow! I'm not sure what to say.
Over the last couple of years I have stood up for women's words, women's spaces, women's sports etc. I also support all people's rights to be who they wish. In some situations though, there are clashes of rights for women if we say that people can literally change sex. I understand that some people identify as a different sex but I do not believe this literally makes them change sex as this is not biologically possible. I also don't believe that we should tell children that they can change sex because a) as I have said, it is not literally true and b) they are too young to make a decision that will potentially affect their future health, sex life and fertility. In the UK, many questions are currently being asked about the treatment of children who identify as trans. Does that help clarify?

I also wonder if you would feel able to tell me who this person was? There are a small group of individuals who are persistently trying to destroy my life's work and livelihood in this way. One of them was recently disciplined by her professional body for exactly this kind of behaviour.

Also...perhaps you know that the publisher was also attacked as transphobic at a recent book fair because of a book she displayed on her stand (not mine). This is a witch hunt!

Uta: I don‘t agree with anyone attacking anybody: that‘s why I fully support trans people. Nobody has got a right to decide over their bodies and identities but themselves!

Milli: Adults may do what they wish with their bodies of course, it is different with children.

Many questions are asked in the UK (and beyond) about the treatment of children with gender dysphoria. It is right that these questions are being asked. The medical pathway is untested and in many cases irreversible. I am anti medicalisation in general. Human bodies don't need pharmaceutical help to give birth or express their identity, generally speaking.

If this means you want to decide you regret supporting my book, that's fine. The final chapter is very clear on where I stand on the difference between gender and sex, and tells the story of how viciously I was treated for asserting the reality of biology.

Uta: It‘s not my place to stop anyone from becoming their true self: and if pharmaceutical help is necessary to feel like themselves, then it‘s their choice and I fully support it. I think you‘re doing a great job for supporting pregnant women - why not lovingly support every human being? I just don‘t get it!

Milli: Do you think a child can be trans and need drugs and surgery to become their true self?

Uta: Yes, I know young people who did become their true selves by undergoing hormonal therapy. They were desperate and sucidal before and now (after becoming who they always felt they were) they‘re happy. I can‘t see any argument against that! Do you?

Milli: It is not that I personally can see an argument with it, my personal opinion is not really relevant. Those in charge can see an argument with it. In the UK we have the Cass Review interim report. https://cass.independent-review.uk/publications/interim-report/ We have the Tavistock clinic which has been closed down due to concerns, outlined in the book Time To Think by Hannah Barnes which has been a bestseller. We have the charity Mermaids displaying appalling safeguarding issues and now under investigation by the charity commission.
Children are being told that they will be suicidal if they are not affirmed. This goes against every single guideline for communication with children (and adults at risk) about suicide. And I speak as a qualified therapist who has worked extensively with children. There are also many stories of detransitioners. Many of whom will never breastfeed, never orgasm, never live a normal life.

If you become convinced by some of the arguments of gender being more important than biology, then it is very easy to lead your child to believe that they may or may not be the sex they were 'assigned at birth'. This is very misleading to children, who believe what adults tell them, and may think that yes, this is simple, I can just be what I want to be. But in reality, it is not that simple. You cannot actually change sex. You will always be the sex you were born as. Hormones and surgery can only help to create a fiction. But you will always be 'trans'. This is a very good podcast with a parent who did this to their child and then realised what they had done. https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/109-what-if-we-are-all-wrong-a-mothers-regret-with-rose

Uta: I‘m not talking about people convincing their children to transition (why would anyone want to do that?): I‘m talking about children and young adults who feel the urgent need to change their birth given sex because it doesn‘t feel right for them! What about them? Don‘t they have the right to decide over their own bodies?

Milli: People don't 'convince their children to transition', it's more complex than that. Do listen to that podcast, it's a very good example of what I mean. From a young age she gave her child the impression that sex was something they could decide for themselves. She did it out of love and kindness, and because she herself believed it at the time. But then she came to see that she was the adult, and the child was the child. The child was taking the lead, when it should have been the adult leading and guiding the child.
Children who feel 'the urgent need to change their birth given sex' are a complex group with a complex set of needs. They have a type of dysphoria (especially those for whom the onset is in puberty). Others are autistic. Some are gay and have internalised homophobia.

Uta: So in your opinion there are no healthy people who just are born in the „wrong“ body? Isn‘t that their place to decide and not ours?

Milli: Well at the moment we are talking about children.

Adults make all kinds of decisions about what to do, who to have sex with, how to live. Tattoos, piercings, wow the list is long. We have to all have bodily autonomy. (although I know this idea has been tested, for example, by people who wish to amputate healthy limbs because of a fetish - is this ok. A tricky question)

I think there are adults who feel happier living in a different gender to their sex. Their sex remains. I support any adults choice to dress and present as they wish. I would break bread with a trans person etc. I am a very open minded liberal person. However I don't support trans women in female sport categories, prisons, refuges etc. I also don't support trans women on women only panels, which were created to address male privilege.

Born in the 'wrong body'? I feel that is a slightly religious sounding concept. We all ARE our body. We are not separate from it (unless you feel we have a soul).

How we dress, have our hair, our likes, dislikes etc are all gender stereotypes. You can be a man with long hair who likes make up and knitting, but you are still a man. I wear trousers and have had short hair, i am forceful and opinionated, I like weightlifting. I am still female.

Gender is costume, socially constructed. Sex is real.

Uta: Let‘s agree to disagree! 🙏🏼

Milli: Well I doubt that will be enough for your friend, who will want you to erase all evidence of your support of me. That is how this all works. Good luck.

Uta: That‘s not the case at all: I‘m free to do whatever I choose to do. There‘s no pressure at all. If anything, there‘s sadness about why we‘re not able to simply let people live their lives and make their own choices and supporting each other no matter what. That‘s the kind of environment I want to live in!

Milli: "No matter what" is the complex part. If anyone who says they are a woman IS a woman, then male people can be in women's sports, prisons, refuges, lesbian spaces, panels and shortlists. That impinges on women's rights and freedom. I support women's rights above all else.

Woman is not a feeling or a costume. You know this 🤷

Uta: I know that everyone has the right to identify as how they feel. My body my choice is valid for all human beings!

Yes they can identify as they feel (adults). But what if they then want to compete in the women's category? eg:

https://twitter.com/i_heart__bikes/status/1645203016977375233?

Uta: Do you REALLY think, people go through all of this (mentally and physically not to mention all the hate) to win a sports competition?? That assumption is BEYOND everything I can imagine!

Milli: Did you read the thread

Uta: I‘m tired and I will stop here! Good night 🙏🏼

Milli: Maybe have a look tomorrow and think about whether your allegiance is to the patriarchy or your sisters. Goodnight!

Uta: Wow. My allegiance is always to kindness 🙏🏼❤️

Milli: Kindness to the women losing the prize money? Honestly, read the thread, think about this. Night x

Uta: In my world it‘s not about prize money, it‘s about kindness. Maybe you think about your values.

Milli: I'm not talking about my personal values, I'm talking specifically about sport (which I'm personally rubbish at!). People who ARE good at sport, do it to win. It's competitive. They want to be on the podium / get the prize money. Kindness has got nothing to do with it.

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As I’ve said, I’m sharing this situation to a) document it and b) show that I am no longer willing to let defamation, however small, pass. It is not transphobic to stick up for women’s rights, or to raise concerns about the medicalisation of children in distress with gender dysphoria. And it is not ok to try to undermine the work and livelihood of individuals like me who have a backbone and are willing to point these things out. If you disagree with my point of view, I am absolutely ok with that. What I am not ok with is the world we are creating in which is is not enough to disagree with an individual, but instead you feel obligated to actively undermine them and destroy their career. This ‘witch hunt mentality’ needs to stop.

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