21 Comments

Thank you for sharing this Milli and for all you are doing to make your voice heard. It matters how we make other people feel for it's all we really remember once the words and circumstances are forgotten. Kindness really is a currency we need to trade with more! X

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Nov 17, 2022Liked by Milli Hill

HI Millie,

Thank you for all that you do to try and counteract the misogynist activism currently spreading around the world. As a New Zealand Midwife who supported, then led, the legislative changes that gave NZ women and midwives autonomy over their reproductive decisions I thought we had won enormous grounds for women. Even though I endured considerable hatred directed at me over 40years from some who opposed women having power over their own decisions I could never have imagined how women could turn so viciously on each other. I am horrified to hear of the treatment some midwives have exhibited towards you. It goes totally against the partnership model we profess to follow (although I have been told that partnership is now old fashioned!!).

I was not involved in the NZ conference organisation but I like to believe that if covid had not interfered with our ability to hold the conference in which you and I were the keynote speakers the College would not have caved to the bullies. However the last year has horrified me further as the Midwifery Council I helped to set up has seemingly lost sight of its reason for being! I sometimes feel that a lifetime of campaigning for the rights of women in childbirth was a wasted effort as I watch it all unravel around the world.

Pease do not underestimate how effective and valued your resilient strength is to others wanting to call out the bullies. Keep it up if you can and hopefully reason will prevail. Karen xx

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Nov 16, 2022Liked by Milli Hill

Glad you & Rosie found each other 👍

I came into this fight in 2017 when one of my daughters peaked me. Then at the beginning of 2018, I learned to my horror that leading international female voices in the breastfeeding (‘lactation’ 🙄) support world thought it was just wonderful men were wanting to breastfeed, and appeared to believe the crock-of-shit published case study about a TW who claimed to have done so that came out then. I was unpleasantly scolded for not going along with this (not bullied, though).

I already knew that men’s interests were served by this ideology, but naively assumed intelligent, mature, campaigning women would know it too. In the succeeding years, though I have not had your sustained, direct, vicious experience, Milli, I’ve been called all sorts of vile stuff by women - and it still baffles me. Why do they privilege gender ID over sex and just as puzzling, why are they so ugly & cruel towards women who disagree?

Sorry about your bereavement & the grief that comes with a new, wobbly phase of mid-life.

(Those flippin sox - for years I only permitted black or navy socks in the house. This meant pairing didn’t matter so much (if ppl stopped being too damned fussy about size). This was thwarted every time someone bought family members rule-breaking socks as a present, of course.)

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Thank you Milli. This is so important. The bullying that has taken place in recent weeks towards some feminists on Twitter because of political disagreements has been horrific. As you say, it is a vicious horrible thing, wherever it comes from xxx

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Nov 16, 2022·edited Nov 16, 2022Liked by Milli Hill

Hi Milly

Just got off the phone to a Friend of mine …talking about “bullying …”on all levels we are are both midwives and she has just retired

I’m in at the deep end trying to make a stand at our small local hospital midwifery unit

The culture is now harmful and has been for many due to bullying practices from all levels..

my motivation first being to protect the women in our care who seem to be at the brunt of it all from obs doctors and midwives Including Issues around consent for examination s

Makes me so sad to see what is happening in and to our midwife profession

Midwives bullying midwives and students doctors bullying midwives

doctors and midwives bullying women

I’ve gone out in a limb and have written letters to management re the issues … causes some possible solutions

The union is in

But our conversation was what has happened over the past few years that it’s seems to be completely rife or is it just more noticeable ???

It’s always been an issue .. my entire career 40 years +

I’ve been and am still in councelling for work place bullying and it’s effects since 1990

You have described and experienced also the worst type of bullying and it escapes me how does anyone justify treating others this way …

So definitely the family values and school education have a huge part to play

And just the basics of treating others with the respect we would like for ourselves

Not rocket science !

Causes ..but come back to

Why is being mean undermining and destructive to others become acceptable to some

Obviously insecurity control feeling threatened are some reasons behind the behaviour ..

Simple values of respect for others support caring kindness friendships

value differences in others becoming confident about who we are in our own skin … instilled in childhood and growing up to be a respectful member of our world community

It’s a world wide issue .. are we lost in our world …. Why can’t we value others ?

I’m sad to hear your recent death of your uncle ..it’s great ti be able to celebrate and remember his life and your memories

Keep up the great work

Not much to say about the sock issue 😂

Except that it’s also an international problem 😂😂❤️

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Nov 16, 2022Liked by Milli Hill

Thank you.

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Nov 16, 2022Liked by Milli Hill

Wow thank you so much for writing this Milli! I have also been cyber bullied and it is absolutely awful. I’m so sorry this has happened to you too. Thank you for being courageous in sharing your views kindly and respectfully. I so wish people could respect that.

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Wondering how I can directly help and support you (and those like you) as someone who ditched Twitter and Instagram and only uses Facebook for specific ‘advertising’ these days? I feel comfortable in ‘doing my bit’ with my councillors SMPs and MP receiving regular mail on GI from me and I made a decision to never hide my views in conversations - like with racism I’m much more confident about calling someone out for actual hate speech and not the pretend stuff that invokes the much used phrase ‘impact not intention’ that drives me nuts... Anyway - as someone who had the privilege to know Kate Clanchy at one time I did support her at the time on SM - as a mother of mixed race children I felt that this was absolutely a case where intention was vitally important to acknowledge. Kate is a truly amazing woman... oh - and you are too Milli... ;)

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Also sending you heaps of love and courage at this time.

Love Aimee ♥️✨

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