To turn up to something when you know you’ll be papped by a thousand lenses, without a ton of make-up on is so fucking ballsy. In this world, where beauty standards are increasingly high and any signs of ageing frowned upon? Pammy is a legend. Can’t wait see your Times piece! I’ll be sure to hang out in the comments section in case anyone is being an ass.
It’s funny because I was so jealous of Pamela Anderson when I was a young teen, and she was at the height of her fame. All the boys fancied her and I knew I couldn’t compete. One of the joys of getting older is knowing you don’t have to compete with other women. That’s truly one of my favourite things about this stage in my life.
I think she looks wonderful - she's a woman, and we are all beautiful. The softness, the curves, the serenity, the spark. Learning to love who we see in the mirror is a life-long healing practice, after all the conditioning we get from tiny girls. I feel so grateful I have found ways to love myself, after hating myself and hurting myself so thoroughly for 30 years. When I catch my eyes in the mirror now, I smile at my inner child, and tell her I love her, and everything is going to be ok 🩷
One of the true advantages of being on the downward slide to the end age wise, is no longer giving a fuck about how I look. I have earned every single wrinkle, fold and bulgy bit that I have acquired through living my life in this body. Pregnancies, extended breastfeeding and decades of doing the multitude of "boring bits" that are required to live an adult life have all left their mark and thank goodness for that. Would I want to reach the end and be remembered only for how I presented myself in public? Hell, no. I hope to be remembered for being a kind friend, a loving wife and mother and for the acts of service performed in an effort to make the world a more liveable place be.
Milli, if you stopped writing today, you would have already left a legacy for your children that can't be purchased anywhere. You are truly beautiful just as you are now.
You are right there is definitely a peace in 'losing your looks' although clearly not for everyone as some feel a kind of 'dysphoria' that they try to fix with surgery...
I think Pamela is quite a complex woman and I love the image she is projecting now - being in the world she is I admire her. And I’m sure my daughter said years ago that she’d had water a birth with a midwife?
I know, it is disconcerting having these professional photographers - the fuss and length of time it takes just for ‘yesterday’s chip paper’ we used to say. But of course now we’re all immortalised on the internet. I like that you chose to be pictured in red! 😉
I also like how Pamela is refusing to be pigeon holed, if you check her insta she's done some amazing photo shoots with loads of make up and others with very little. It's on her terms.
As a man, obviously a lot of this is my fault. My own reaction was that I didn’t recognise her (if you’d said “who is that?” I’d have had no idea - I thought she looked vaguely Scandinavian.)
But also then “what does it matter how she looks?” A photo doesn’t tell you about the things that matter - will you have an enjoyable time talking to them? Will you make each other laugh? Will you find interesting things to talk about?
Younger men maybe are more worried about the Sauron-like gaze of the camera now because the lenses are everywhere in ordinary life. But they too will go bald, get fat, get wrinkly. Perhaps each generation just needs to learn the lesson afresh each time.
I think she looks wonderful. The criticism is based on comparison images from 30+ years ago, so what it feels like they are really critiquing is that she has visibly aged at all.
To turn up to something when you know you’ll be papped by a thousand lenses, without a ton of make-up on is so fucking ballsy. In this world, where beauty standards are increasingly high and any signs of ageing frowned upon? Pammy is a legend. Can’t wait see your Times piece! I’ll be sure to hang out in the comments section in case anyone is being an ass.
Bless you! It will be an interview about my book!
And yes it really is so brave, but she is doing us all such a favour, really moving things forward for us. Incredible!!
It’s funny because I was so jealous of Pamela Anderson when I was a young teen, and she was at the height of her fame. All the boys fancied her and I knew I couldn’t compete. One of the joys of getting older is knowing you don’t have to compete with other women. That’s truly one of my favourite things about this stage in my life.
I agree...and who would have thought that Pamela would be the one to pioneer this message in the public eye?! Another plot twist for the 2020's!
I think she looks wonderful - she's a woman, and we are all beautiful. The softness, the curves, the serenity, the spark. Learning to love who we see in the mirror is a life-long healing practice, after all the conditioning we get from tiny girls. I feel so grateful I have found ways to love myself, after hating myself and hurting myself so thoroughly for 30 years. When I catch my eyes in the mirror now, I smile at my inner child, and tell her I love her, and everything is going to be ok 🩷
That is so beautiful and wonderful! xxx
One of the true advantages of being on the downward slide to the end age wise, is no longer giving a fuck about how I look. I have earned every single wrinkle, fold and bulgy bit that I have acquired through living my life in this body. Pregnancies, extended breastfeeding and decades of doing the multitude of "boring bits" that are required to live an adult life have all left their mark and thank goodness for that. Would I want to reach the end and be remembered only for how I presented myself in public? Hell, no. I hope to be remembered for being a kind friend, a loving wife and mother and for the acts of service performed in an effort to make the world a more liveable place be.
"People who are secure in themselves know this intrinsically. Those who only ever think about themselves are often miserable because true happiness is found in considering others." https://lucyleader.substack.com/p/be-thankful-for-what-youve-got
Milli, if you stopped writing today, you would have already left a legacy for your children that can't be purchased anywhere. You are truly beautiful just as you are now.
That really is a very lovely thing to say 😭
You are right there is definitely a peace in 'losing your looks' although clearly not for everyone as some feel a kind of 'dysphoria' that they try to fix with surgery...
Great piece as always.
I thought Pamela looked amazing. Wonderful skin.
Basically we just can’t win can we?
That's about the size of it, yes.
I think Pamela is quite a complex woman and I love the image she is projecting now - being in the world she is I admire her. And I’m sure my daughter said years ago that she’d had water a birth with a midwife?
I know, it is disconcerting having these professional photographers - the fuss and length of time it takes just for ‘yesterday’s chip paper’ we used to say. But of course now we’re all immortalised on the internet. I like that you chose to be pictured in red! 😉
I also like how Pamela is refusing to be pigeon holed, if you check her insta she's done some amazing photo shoots with loads of make up and others with very little. It's on her terms.
And red...hmm...what does it signify for you?! 😬😅
Feminine blood mysteries… ☺️
Oh haha yes…an unconscious choice perhaps 😆
Loved this, Milli. x
Aw thanks lovely, that means a lot from you! xx
As a man, obviously a lot of this is my fault. My own reaction was that I didn’t recognise her (if you’d said “who is that?” I’d have had no idea - I thought she looked vaguely Scandinavian.)
But also then “what does it matter how she looks?” A photo doesn’t tell you about the things that matter - will you have an enjoyable time talking to them? Will you make each other laugh? Will you find interesting things to talk about?
Younger men maybe are more worried about the Sauron-like gaze of the camera now because the lenses are everywhere in ordinary life. But they too will go bald, get fat, get wrinkly. Perhaps each generation just needs to learn the lesson afresh each time.
I think she looks wonderful. The criticism is based on comparison images from 30+ years ago, so what it feels like they are really critiquing is that she has visibly aged at all.