The Word is Woman #35

A La Leche League Special

Welcome to the Issue #35 of The Word is Woman, a weekly section of my substack where I document examples of the erasure of women from both language and public life.

For the past three years, ever since I spoke out about language changes in maternity such as ‘birthing people’, I have been sent hundreds of examples of convolutions of language in which the word woman is erased and replaced in the name of so-called ‘inclusivity’. Uterus owners, menstruators, non-men, bleeders, birthers, and even bodies with vaginas…the list of names we have been called and continue to be called is a seemingly endless catalogue of offence.

At the same time, we are seeing male people taking the place of women on sporting podiums and in public roles, and also being applauded as the ‘first woman’ to achieve a certain award or accomplishment, or the ‘best female’ or ‘woman of the year’ in their field.

The Word is Woman is a place to keep track.

So here is this week’s The Word is Woman for the week ending 3rd May 2024.

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It probably hasn’t escaped your eagle eyed attention this week that the breastfeeding organisation La Leche League has been in the news.

First there was this from the Telegraph:

Then came this from the Mail:

The long and the short of the story is that half of the LLLGB board have been suspended for refusing to go along with an 'inclusion policy’ that would see breastfeeding support groups open to both sexes including trans women who wish to breastfeed. The suspended board members are now going to the Charity Commission to say that the charity’s demands break the law on the provision of single sex spaces.

The remaining board members clearly remain unapologetic - as the story broke they posted this on their twitter feed.

Although The Word is Woman is usually an eclectic mix of missed opportunities to use the W word, daft replacement words and downright erasure, I thought this week we might zoom in on La Leche. They really do deserve it!

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Firstly, here’s a round up of their atrocities from previous TWIWs.

This one is from Issue #4. I told you about the book Breastfeeding Answers by Nancy Mohrbacher, published by La Leche League. The breast is renamed ‘the mammary gland’, and the mother is renamed ‘the parent’. The baby still gets to be a ‘he’ though.

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In Issue #8 I shared the news of the updated edition of their most famous manual The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

Guess which word got the chop.

In Issue #21 they promoted a course for ‘those working with lactating families’.

I cannot emphasise enough how much the use of ‘families’ in the context of ‘birthing’ or ‘breastfeeding’ annoys me - having spent so many years trying to emphasise that the decision making power lies with the WOMAN, and the woman alone. We know that all too often people - doctors, midwives, husbands, partners - will speak for the woman, or dominate her until she agrees with their way of thinking. This idea of ‘nursing families’ just reintroduces the idea of a ‘collective’ being involved and dilutes the woman’s autonomy. It boils my breast milk quite frankly!

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They had a textbook erasure post in Issue #32.

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And in Issue #33 they featured with this outtake from an article they published, showing that of course, breastfeeding was for absolutely everyone.

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Finally, only last week in Issue #34 (three in a row? they seem to have been ramping up recently!), they had two posts from the socials, first, that well known myth that, ‘Exclusive bodyfeeding is what every family should do’.

And then, and this one is (almost) funny, ‘As long as you and your child are enjoying bodyfeeding, your child is benefitting from bodyfeeding’, and then, wait for the punchline…

IT’S WHAT MOTHER NATURE INTENDED!

You couldn’t make it up!

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Anyway, one thing that I noticed in the response to the story from Jo Public this week was that people were surprised that a breastfeeding organisation, of all things, would be shilling for the trans activists and throwing their women volunteers under the bus in the process.

But people like me who have been involved in the birth and breastfeeding world for a long time and in all the social media groups etc that go with it, aren’t surprised in the least, because not only did we all know this was going on at LLL, but we all know it’s going on EVERYWHERE. Every single breastfeeding, birth and a lot of menstruation and even menopause organisations are breaking apart over this, and have been for some time.

So as part of TWIW this week, I also asked a few women I know to share their experiences of this phenomenon. Here they are. First up, several from LLL…

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I was a LLL leader and spent years going to NHS meetings trying to persuade local hospitals and community services to use our evidence based materials and leaflets instead of commercial formula milk leaflets. This change in LLL to encourage men to breastfeed with no evidence base means the organisation has undermined itself and is not suitable to be shared in and sensible NHS service, possibly not even allowed with the new NHS announcement regarding sex based services. Women will miss out because of the stupidity of LLLGB.

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I have letters in my possession sent from the LLLI Board to Leaders who questioned the inclusion policy that requires Leaders to help (literally) "everyone" who wants to breastfeed. They have stated that "more research needs to be done on male lactation" (why they think this they don't say) and Leaders who feel they have no skills to help men and breastless women are told that Leaders are only required to help "people" with "the normal course of breastfeeding". There is no "normal course of breastfeeding" for biological males or women who have elected to have their healthy breasts amputated.

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I will not be renewing my LLL membership after 27 years as a leader because I have to protect the mother baby dyad. Baby’s have rights. I have been threatened by LLL just for seeking clarification on their latest policies!

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During my time volunteering with LLL I was subjected to a campaign of targeted harrassment by volunteers who wanted to exclusively use desexed language in breastfeeding support (Eg. Lactating parents, breastfeeding families instead of women, mothers etc). These volunteers first tried to prevent my accreditation and when unsuccessful they created and circulated a document about me which aspired to make me seem unfit to join the organisation. Their contention was that I was somehow exclusionary and would not work with "all families". These volunteers did not bring their concerns to me, or through official administrative channels - rather, they by-passed the usual protocol for complaints and sent their document out globally within La Leche League to the LLLI Board, USA Council and the Global Leaders Committee. It contained various allegations about my personal conduct, and screenshots of comments I made on social media unaffiliated with LLL, or my role as a volunteer.

It was extremely upsetting to discover this after the fact. I had to find out from a colleague - nobody within LLLI contacted me to inform me that these claims had been made, to offer me a chance to explain or dispute the claims, or even to check on my wellbeing. I worked hard to move on and enjoy my role as a volunteer however my confidence in the LLLI board was undermined.

The claims in this document were eventually investigated locally, amounting to nothing, and their actions described as “disturbing”. Using technology to follow another person online with the intent of damaging their reputation is a form of harassment, and an offence under State and Federal legislation in my country. I stand by my conduct as a volunteer and the lack of resolution, communication and disciplinary action from the board after further egregious behaviour by the same volunteers, such as refusing to list my name or contact details on a national website, meant that I eventually left.

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I believe in biological sex. I also used to believe in LLL. After finding their mother-to-mother support meetings radically empowering and highly informative as a first-time mum, I became a Leader and have devoted many hours to volunteering for LLL over the years. In 2017/8 it first became apparent to me another agenda was being foisted on us. The situation has tragically worsened over the intervening years. The charity has pretty quickly - and boldly - moved from 'let's be kind and add more words' to 'anyone who doesn't welcome men (of the male sexed kind) to meetings/our support needs to step down'. LLL is a charity founded on the primary importance of the mother-baby dyad at a time in the 1950s when the idea was radical and even counter-cultural. Very sadly, LLL has been infected with an ideology directly opposed to its founding principles and philosophy. The bullying and suspension of my colleagues (democratically elected trustees by the way!) is horrible and very, very wrong. It is tragic to see LLL losing its way so spectacularly, despite attempts by many over the years to try to fight this. And yet again it's women, mothers and their babies, who pay the price.

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I also received some comments from women working with other organisations, first up, The Association of Breastfeeding Mothers:

I volunteered with the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers for 15 years. In 2020 I was blocked from the "Trained and Training" private Facebook group without notice or explanation but it occurred shortly after I lodged serious complaints against two breastfeeding counsellor trainees who were harassing Milli Hill for months. Though the evidence was overwhelming, the ABM did not censure these trainees who are committed activists for gender ideology. Even though I was blocked, I attended the online Annual General Meeting and recorded my dissent of the dangers that gender ideology pose to mother and babies. Later, I was blocked from the ABM public page for speaking up about the replacement of the word 'mother' with 'parent' on the ABM's public page in a discussion about breastfeeding and Islam. After a complaint, I was restored to the page but my comments and the comments of others, including a Jewish woman had been deleted though they were informative and measured. I have received written evidence that at least one member of the ABM's Central Committee vilified me to a respected member of the Muslim breastfeeding community. This ostracisation is not unique to me. I am also aware that the ABM informed Muslim women they must consider whether the ABM is a 'good fit' for their training. Their training programme was put on hold to give them 'time to consider' their position. The reason for this unusual step is that the Muslim mothers informed the ABM that they wouldn't use the word 'parent' instead of 'mother' and that they couldn't advise men on how to breastfeed. As a result more than one Muslim woman ceased training with the ABM.

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I trained to be a peer supporter with ABM (UK) and did not renew my membership as they were embarrassed to use the word mother. The Trained and Training group was toxic and any gender critical speech was immediately slammed as transphobic. It wasn't a healthy environment and certainly not one that was women, or indeed mother, centric. I feel homeless in the breastfeeding community.

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Then, the Australian Breastfeeding Association:

I was a counsellor and group leader for the Australian Breastfeeding Association. I raised concerns about the redefinition of the concept of ‘mother’ and that other volunteers were creating unauthorised material and changing information by removing the concept of mother/breastfeeding and replacing it with parents/human milk feeding. I was subsequently accused of bullying and harassment, subjected to disciplinary procedures, and sacked when I spoke publicly about the trauma of the situation for myself and others. Despite eventually being cleared of wrongdoing and reinstated, my faith in the organisation was utterly lost, and I resigned, meaning mothers in our region were left with no peer breastfeeding group.

I volunteered for 26.5 years with Australian Breastfeeding Association until I was sacked.

I was suspended immediately in 2021 & received a written complaint from the organisation, accusing me of my harassment & intimidation which were anonymous. One quoting me saying I was a ‘mother’ & am still not sure how a breastfeeding organisation providing mother to mother support could find that intimidating or harassing.

I received no further details as to who lodged complaints & was denied natural justice & an opportunity to defend myself. I was sacked 11 months after receiving that complaint.

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The NCT:

I was an NCT BFC for 15 years (involved in NCT for 18 years.

I stood up to bullies on the various FB groups and questioned things like male lactation, TWAW and breast binders Being normalised. I was called racist for comparing binding to breast ironing.

A complaint was raised against me - no detail but I was investigated and invited to be interviewed which I refused, instead submitting a statement on my position.

I was a member of the CWGB union at the time and asked them for help. They refused to help me because of my admission of being ‘gender critical’.

I received an official notice that the complaint had not been upheld only after I raised the issue with the person who later dealt with my resignation. The NCT staff member who dealt with the complaint suddenly starting putting pronouns in her sign off half way through.

Lost what little respect I had left for NCT over this. Weak leadership and years of financial mismanagement. Gradual removal of the word mother and the undermining of BFCs…

NCT is a sad reflection of what it once was. Single men on courses (commissioning surrogacy), total lack of spine on any issue that’s ‘tricky’.

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A mother’s perspective:

As part of my breastfeeding journey I don't appreciate having the pronouns/chestfeeding/lactating families nonsense rammed down my throat at all points. I actively chose not to engage with LLL and specifically sought out IBCLCS who didn't have any trace of the gender agenda on their professional profiles and websites. I messaged before hiring them to make sure they were clear about how I felt and where they stood. I could never have trusted information from an organization that has thrown science, evidence, and biological reality out the window.

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And experiences in the many and various facebook groups related to breastfeeding:

I questioned a case study of a trans ID man breastfeeding on a big international group of breastfeeding professionals and volunteers. Immediately I was chastised by some of the well-known names on the group & told we should celebrate any form of breastfeeding. I’m told the subject of trans IDd breastfeeding never comes up now - ppl are prob too worried to raise it. On another occasion I had a question for a large UK Facebook group of women interested in the politics of breastfeeding. I’d seen the change to ‘gender neutral’ language in some groups’ communications. I asked, how men attending a support group would change the dynamics and how did we feel about it? This attracted huge hostility & name calling and I was thrown out along with anyone who’d liked my post.

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If anyone else would like their words to be featured in this post they can either leave them in the comments, which I will leave open to all this week, or email them to me at millihillwriter@gmail.com.

Finally I’d like to salute the La Leche League leaders who are currently in the eye of the storm but who are helping to blow the lid off all of this bullying and ideological capture that is depriving women of their much needed services and putting babies at risk.

Have a lovely weekend everyone. There won’t be a Nosebag on Sunday as not only is it a holiday weekend but I’m also going on a fantastic menopause workshop, more news of that next week when I also REALLY WILL be able to tell you about my forthcoming book! Bye for now, Milli x

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