The Word is Woman #70

Documenting the erasure of women from language and life.

Hello dear TWIW readers! I hope you didn’t think I’d forgotten you! I know I usually publish on a Friday in order to give you an excuse to reach for that end-of-the-week gin, but this week just really backed up on me, so we have a Saturday edition instead (perfect for the bank holiday weekend I hope).

I’ve been feeling rather flat recently, or maybe a better word is aghast, at the reactions to the Supreme Court judgment. I just find it astonishing how many people, including women, are willing to argue for the delicate feelings of men over and above the rights, dignity and safety of women. It’s almost gutting, isn’t it? Such a huge and tangible demonstration that not just patriarchy, but all-out misogyny is alive and well, and positively thriving.

I know Woman’s Hour isn’t the be-all and end-all of, well, anything really, but in terms of a demonstration of just how brainwashed some people, even women, have become, the two recent interviews with Helen Joyce of Sex Matters and Kate Barker of the LGB Alliance were jaw-dropping. I’m not a lesbian, but just in the same way that I’m not remotely sporty but I can see the issue with a 6’2 trans identified man in the girl’s team, I can quickly get the point that a lesbian dating app that’s open to males is a bit of a problem. Immediately, having been around the block a few times, and heard plenty of ‘banter’ from men about lesbians, I can imagine the motivations of males who want to ‘date lesbians’. I was there in the 90s and I remember not only that Eddie Izzard had a line in his stand-up - “I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body” - but that men would often quote this line in a very sexual way that basically meant they wanted ‘in’ on any lesbian action. They didn’t want it to take place without them there. And they would also joke about how their presence - and their magical penis - would show lesbians the way, the ‘better’ way. They would make them ‘see sense’.

Doesn’t presenter Nuala McGovern remember that ‘banter’? Can she not picture the absolute glee of some men when they discover that they are not just allowed to call themselves women, but lesbians, too? The sheer inaccessibility of the lesbian dating app, or the lesbian bedroom, was what drove their fantasies wild, wasn’t it? And maybe, if only unconsciously, it made some of them angry too, didn’t it? Because there was something there that they, in this man’s world of entitlement, were apparently not entitled to. But now it is all suddenly accessible to them. The dream of the man coming in and ‘showing them how it’s really done’ has been endorsed and approved. And lesbians cannot object.

Why can’t Nuala, and all those she represents, see that? If you haven’t already, have a listen…

This exchange (starts about 1:30) was especially fascinating, in particular through the lens of word definition that we all appreciate here at The Word is Woman.

Nuala: Let’s talk about that particular term ‘men’ that you use. Who are you referring to?

Kate: I’m referring to all male people.

Nuala: Are you also referring to those who identify as trans women? (she says this is a very laboured, onerous way, worthy of the trial scene in The Crucible)

Kate: I am. (Kate says this quietly, as if she knows it seals her fate, in Nuala’s eyes, at least)

Nuala: Why?

Why? Well thank goodness Kate stayed calm and explained, where many of us would have lay down on the floor and rage-wept.

The problem seems to be that the Nualas of this world really have been absolutely brainwashed into believing that there is a difference between a trans woman and a man. Most religions involved the repetition of phrases, over and over, to make them ‘true’. If, like me, you’re not religious, it’s slightly baffling to see how effective this is, and how some humans, even ones you love and respect, positively relish both repeating them and believing them. “The body of Christ”, is one that featured heavily for me at Catholic school, where we had a full Mass every week, and Benediction once a month. Over and over the phrase is repeated with each communion wafer given out - in my large school this was probably several hundred times in every Mass. It’s not a wafer, even though it looks like a wafer and tastes like a wafer. Repeat the phrase, over and over and over…like robots going into ‘obedience mode’. I do apologise if this offends anyone religious but it’s the only way I can make sense of it. “Trans women are women”, has been repeated so often that The Nualas have integrated it as absolute fact. It’s deeply offensive to The Nualas to even question it, just as my saying ‘it’s actually just a wafer’ might upset a few Catholics. There’s a difference though: believing a wafer is the body of Christ isn’t particularly harmful to anyone, you do you. But believing that a trans woman isn’t actually a man at all is deeply harmful to women, and it’s harmful in a very specific way, as Kate Barker so clearly explained, to lesbians.

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Let’s move on to some of this week’s erasure examples…keeping in mind that it’s all part of the same picture: changing the definition of words to erase and erode women as a distinct sex class (which then erases and erodes lesbians as a distinct sexuality based on that sex class).

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This post from the Human Milk Foundation doesn’t mention women or mothers, but instead goes for ‘families’ and ‘individuals who donate'. It also doesn’t say ‘breast’ either, a word and a body part that people have long been freaked out by, especially when it’s actually doing something useful like feeding a baby rather than passively posing for men’s enjoyment. So it must be a relief to some that we now have ‘human milk’ and ‘donor milk’ instead.

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Are these researchers looking to speak to men as well as women about the journey to conception? It’s not clear. They just say ‘adults’.

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This post from an NHS hospital in East Kent erases women completely. We are ‘birthing people’, and later, it is ‘families’ affected by failings.

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This article, written by a Nuala called Clare, is for CIPD members only, and is truly extraordinary.

Luckily, a reader sent me a copy.

I’d estimate it’s around 800 words, and not one of them is ‘woman’.

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This post refers to women as ‘lactating individuals’.

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The organisation Make Birth Better, who I used to be ‘friends’ with and work closely alongside, have been busily erasing women in their newsletter…

Incidentally, AIMS, like Make Birth Better, Birthrights and many other birth and breastfeeding organisations, set out with what I would describe as ‘feminist’ principles of advocating for women’s rights in this hugely overlooked area. Back in the dark ages of 2014 AIMS even had the - now unthinkable - slogan, “There for your mother. Here for you. Help us to be there for your daughters”. Now, though, they too have been hypnotised by the mantras, with their website stating that they have been supporting ‘women and pregnant people’ since the 1960s, and plenty of avoidance of the W word.

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But let’s end on a positive note! The news can’t have escaped you this week that Mummy Pig has had a baby! Yes, the cartoon family from Peppa Pig have had a new addition.

From Official Peppa

Some are up in arms that the NCT chose to partner with the show, which depicted a traumatic hospital birth, bottle feeding, and the tired old message that ‘a healthy baby is all that matters’. But my attention was also caught by the social media posts that suddenly knew the difference between male and female, like this one, from the Lullaby Trust…

How bigoted!

Or, and yes I stole this joke from a friend but it’s too good not to nick - how PIGoted!

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Have a wonderful bank holiday weekend! And please like, subscribe and share, because it helps others see the light! xx

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